This Must Not Stand!

America, wake up. We're not #1.  Hell, we're not even #10.

Bottoms up!

Proving My Ignorance. Again.

I play trivia at a bar on Monday nights with a couple of friends.  Last night, the half time question was, "Name the seven movie for which Dustin Hoffman received an Oscar nomination for Best Actor."

I said, "I'm only about 80% sure I know who Hoffman is but he was in Tootsie and Arthur, Arthur.  Right?" 

Um, no.  He was only in one of those.  It turns out I've never seen any of the seven movies from beginning to end.  Only one of the movies have I seen any parts of on cable.

Stew, Bread, Remotes

Stew, Bread, Remotes
Originally uploaded by chicagoschraders

From Sunday night, dinner during the baseball game.

To Summarize

This weekend:
2 wins
2 losses
1 game suspended for rain
1 pulled quad muscle
lots of beer.


I call it a qualified success.

Happy 30th

It has been years since I walked into Neo. In the times I was there, early to mid 90s, the place was punk/alternative with the goth crowd and crossgenders there. The people I went with and I were almost always the most strait laced people there. Still it was always a comfortable place to have a beer and dance. It didn't matter who you were or how you were dressed. It was always cool to be you there.

Happy birthday, Neo.

In Other Sobering Economic News

Beer Sales are down by the largest percentage measured. I can't decide if this indicates the bottom is near or if it's time to diversify my savings between the mattress and the cookie jar.

CHEERS!

Friday is the 75th Anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition!

Why Me Must Continue Funding Scientific Research

Great inventions.

1. The Wheel
2. Sliced Bread
3. THIS!

Nooooooo!

Life, as we know it, is over!

Ha. I was in college working in a bar when Zima got real big. People, OK, let's be honest, girls were bringing Jolly Ranchers to drop into their bottles of Zima. The candy would dissolve and impart the flavor and color to the liquor. I even recall a few people bringing Pixie Sticks to put in their Zimas. A girlfriend at the time was big into Zima. She begged for a Zima light. I had to cajole one of our distributors a little bit but got here one. I wonder if she still has it and if her husband knows the providence of it?



Doubtful.

And in case it isn't obvious, I won't be missing Zima. I didn't even know they were still producing that swill.

Beer Cut Off

The city has successfully strong armed bar owners around Wrigley Field to cut off beer sales during Cub's clinch games. The owner of Irish Oak sums it up well, "We are well capable of handling our own business. You say it's voluntarily, but, c'mon, it's a directive from the city."

As I pointed out before the whole point of this cannot be to curb drunkenness. At this point the deal even allows owners to resume alcohol sales if a game goes to extra innings. There's nothing here here except PR and Daley flexing his muscle against a group not in his favor.

Daley's No Beer Plan

Daley has never been a friend of the bar and club industry in Chicago. Now, through his head of Emergency Management Agency, he's floated an idea that bars near Wrigley Field (and, oh yeah, The Cell) not sell any alcohol from the 7th inning stretch through the end of any game that the team could clinch the series. The plan seems to still be forming but currently it seems like they are trying to apply this to home games only.


When I first heard it I thought it was a nonstarter as long as Daley didn't get on board. Then in a presser yesterday, when asked about business owners fears of losing business, he said this, "I'll have somebody buy their place tomorrow. . . . If you've been drinking for five hours and you're laying on the floor, don't give that person another beer."

I spend far more time in bars than anyone probably should and I can tell you no one who is passed out is served more booze. That's not to say people don't get over served but this is just more typical Daley hysterics.

Because of government's near dictatorial power over alcohol sales and distribution, however, it sounds like bar owners are reluctantly getting on board. If they don't the city would (legally) make their lives hell when they had to reapply for their yearly liquor license. The owner of John Barleycorn on WGN last night said that he might be willing to play ball.

But anyone thinking for more than about 5 seconds realizes this will accomplish nothing. First off, anyone who's been drinking from the National Anthem, or well before, through the top of the 7th can be well and truly sloshed before the beer is cut off. Having an hour off may sober them up a little bit but the people they are worried about will just jump right back in feet first when the bar opens again.

More over, everyone is going to be well aware of this. In the top of the 7th inning people are going to order multiple drinks for themselves: a pitcher, a bucket, 5 mixed drinks. Just line 'em up and keep drinking through the 9th inning. I've heard various theories on whether or not it is legal to have multiple open drinks in front of you at the same time but it happens now, will continue to happen, and I guarantee it will happen if this plan is implemented.


I was standing in the middle of Addison and Clark with my Cub fan friends this past Saturday night when the Cubs clinched the Central division. They shut down the streets and celebrated like they had won the World Series. If the Cubs win any post season series its going to be even more crazy. The World Series will be out of hand. Closing the tap for an hour isn't going to change that.

So why is all this happening? I can only speculate. Daley has a well documented dislike of the Cubs and their fans. It really feels like some petty attempt by Daley to punish his perceived enemies. That must be some kind of first for him.

Oh, wait...

Good Quote

From the beer story below:

"Beer will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer." - Maureen Ogle, author of Ambitious Brew: The Story of American Beer

Today's Stat

16,000,000 Barrels
of beer were sold in July in the United States. My softball teams and I did our best to keep the numbers up.

Bad Sponsorship

Next Sunday we start our Fall softball campaign. We've changed leagues and will be playing at a different park. As such, we're going to be changing sponsor bars. The team captain has decided - for who knows what reason - that we're going to have Trinity on Halsted sponsor us. The sponsorship?

Well, there isn't really one. They're going to give us T-Shirts, free advertising for them, but not give us any money. What we're supposed to do is have a "party" at Trinity. We can charge any amount we want for a couple hours of open bar (draft beer). The bar takes a $10 cut and we keep the rest.

Typically, a bar gives us a couple hundred bucks as sponsorship. In exchange for that money we agree to come into the bar and spend (more) money there. Our team doesn't use sponsorship money to pay league fees. Those are paid by the team members. We do it that way to weed out those that aren't really committed to playing. The sponsorship money is used to reduce our bar tabs after games. With this plan we might as well ask our friends to stop by and buy us a drink after the game.

I don't like it. I'm going to play but I don't feel any commitment to this bar.

Tears In My Beer

Goose Island is closing the Clybourn location because of a lease dispute. By far, one of the best microbreweries in the Chicago area. I've always love visiting this location. The Wrigleyville location just isn't the same. It has a different atmosphere. A shame.

John Cole Learns a Lesson

So my ear got unbearable last night and I went to the emergency room, and I had a real learning experience:

Never go to the emergency room in a college town over St. Patrick’s weekend.

Worst Amateur Night

I rolled out of bed and headed for breakfast at 8:30 9:30 yesterday. It's about a 1.5 mile walk through the heart of the Lincoln Avenue bar district. There were a lot of people, young people, out and about for a Sunday morning. What were they doing out? Then my still waking brain registered the green. Green was everywhere. I realized what was going on.

The South Side Irish Parade.

St. Patrick's Week (it's not just a day in Chicago) has to be the worst time for amateurish, juvenile drinking here. "Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day" is the saying. It's just an excuse for a bunch of people to get drunk and act stupid.

The worst part is that its not just the professional drinkers, people who drink moderately to heavily all the time. Those people, and I'm one of them, stay pretty well in control. No, St. Partick's week brings out more idiots than any other day in Chicago.

During this week there are drunk people that never drink. That never drink during the week. That only have a couple drinks on a Friday and/or Saturday nights. And the South Side Irish parade has become a cause de jour to be falling down, stupid, beligerent drunk. Bars open early and start pouring green beer. They hire buses with kegs of beer on board to drive their already drunk patrons to the parade. The buses then bring them back to the bar where they continue to get blitzed.

Sure, New Years Eve is bad but people are well aware of the dangers and law enforcement is out in force. Memorial Day, Labor Day, July 4th all have their issues. Halloween, at least on the north side of Chicago, is one of the best party nights of the year. But for my money, St. Patrick's Week is the worst. I wanted to go for a beer last night but a friend had to remind me about the parade again.

I sat at home with a book instead. Better for me in so many ways.

Smoking Ban, T + 1 Week

Some observations...

The Question of Re-Entry
The Tribune had a piece last week about an angle I didn't consider. Music venues such as the Double Door and Schubas face a challenge. If you have customers that have paid the cover to see a show and want to go outside for a smoke, do those customers get back in? Will they have to pay again? Seems dubious. If there is a line will they have to go to the back of the line? Less dubious.

The World Is Not Your Ashtray
The morning of January 2nd, some neighbors of my local watering hole, Sedgwick's, came in to complain about the excessive number of cigarette butts on their sidewalk. It's not just Sedgwick's but a lot of bars don't seem to have planned for this.

Odorless Clothes And Hair
Saturday morning I got up to get a drink and use the bathroom. I just grabbed the T-Shirt off the top of my laundry basket for the occassion. I pulled it on and realized I didn't gag from stale smoke. I smiled. I was talking to a lady this weekend and she made the comment about not having to consider washing her hair when she get's home at night.

You Have Curly Fries?
I saw a couple softball teammates this weekend. (We were throwing the ball around in the 50 degree weather). He said after work on Friday he went to Dillans with some coworkers and they were able to smell the food cooking.

Time To Change The Dish Water
In addition to the food aromas, other bar smells are suddenly noticeable. One can smell the cleaning fluids and disinfectants used to was glasses. And in some bars, I'm sure, the stench of stale, spilled beer will be more prevelant. The smoking ban might actually force some bars to do a better job of cleaning.

Critiquing Bathroom Ads

This is a recreation of an ad I saw last night.

• 8 oz of Pilsner Lager
  
• 8 oz of stout lager
  
• 1 chilled mug
  
• 1 icy road
  
• 1 pick up truck
  
• 10 hour work day
  
• 1 tired worker
  

Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving!

Where to start with what is wrong here...

1. You're typical black and tan is made with Guinness and Harp, both are ALES, not lagers. I've never even come across a stout lager.
   
2. You're typical black and tan drinker is not driving a pick up truck. Get them a can of some cheap swill.
   
3. You pour a black and tan in a pint glass (as pictured) or, better yet, in an imperial pint glass. Not a mug.
   
4. And most importantly you never, ever, ever pour a black and tan in a frosted mug! NEVER!
   

And That's The Problem

Forewarning: This story was related to me tonight by a fellow bar regular. We have one bar in common but he goes to several others regularly. The story certainly needs to be taken with a grain or three of salt so I'm not using any proper names or dates. Still the story is at least anectodtally worth hearing.

The Story:

Recently, at or near closing time of a bar, a patron tried to grab a slice of pie from the pizza one of the bouncers (possibly an owner) was eating. The bouncer told him to chill and he should have asked for a piece. Now, the bouncer told him, he needed to get lost. The patron backed off but then challeneged, "What are you going to do about it." (Nothing said indicated if the bouncer was wearing clothing that would have identified him as a bouncer.)

The bouncer got up, locked the door and said, "You had your chance." The bouncer then proceeded to beat up the patron and 2 or 3 of the patron's friends. The bouncer did this while his own friends sat and watched.

After the beating the patron threatened to call the police. The bouncer, an off duty cop, produced his own badge and asked, "Who do you think they are going to believe?"

So many things are wrong here. First is the pressumption of power and might makes right. The off duty copy knew he had more friends in the bar than the patron. Even if he got in trouble during a fight with these drunks he had more than enough friends to back him up. So instead of just tossing them out the door as he should have he physically beats them up. That is assault my friends.

Second, and the most disturbing, is the abuse of power. Not physical power although that is clearly there. No, it is the abuse of official power. The cop started the fight. Despite his supposed claims, "What are you going to do about it," does not equate to a legal self defense argument. The cop started the fight, beat up a group of drunk guys, and then used his official position in law enforcement to intimidate the group into not filing charges.

And the off duty cop was right. If the patrons had called the cops, the patrons would have been arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer by the responding officers. If the public ever would have heard about the incident the group would have had to clear their own names first and the legal system would have been institutionally stacked against them.

Assuming that all the facts of the story are not accurate, this is still essentially the same story that we've heard over and over in the past year out of the Chicago police force. If the story was a bald faced lie told to my friend by the off duty cop then the cop was glorifying those same stories. The stories: officers have abused their official power and their monopoly on legal force to abuse citizens. Maybe this patron deserved an ass kicking. I'm not generally a fighter but maybe I would have reacted the same way. If I had, both he and I should have been arrested for assault and faced the consequences.

This cop never will. And that's the problem