My Dad Can Beat Up Your Great Granddad!

So after months – many, many months – of being almost completely idle at work I’ve had a shit storm land in my lap. People with lots of letters in front of their names are all atwitter. I’ve made the code changes to stop the bleeding but the clients want more and more tests every day. That’s their prerogative but it prevents me from spending time to write a program to go back and identify the specific errors on each account so that corrections can be issued. I don’t mind pressure. Hell, I actually feel good right now with all this on me. But today because of system problems I’m forced to be idle.

So, let me talk about something I know almost nothing about. The Super Bowl. (Can I say that without being sued?) Honestly, with the exception of the 4th quarter, it was a pretty boring game last night. I mean 7 – 3 at half time? With the “greatest offense ever” playing? Boring!

I don’t even remember any commercials very well although there was something with dancing geckos that was funny. Couldn’t tell you what they were advertising for the life of me though.

I’m not much of an American football fan. I’ve said on more than one occasion that if American football fell off the end of the Earth my life would get better. But it can be hard to avoid and when I saw some Patriot games this year I thought: “That’s how the game is supposed to be played.” I actually enjoyed it somewhat. At least as much as I’ve ever enjoyed American football.

But it’s the “greatest offense ever” that had me at all interested. One thing that seems ubiquitous to all sports that I don’t like is the comparing of teams from different eras.

Are the 27 Yankees the best team ever?

How would the Bulls teams compare to the Boston Celtics dynasty teams?

Could the 2008 Patriots hold their own against the 70s Steelers?

Could Tiger beat Jack in his hey day? (Or is that hay day? Or heyday? Whatever.)

Who’s the greatest Super Bowl team of all time? (Apparently the 85 Bears have this distinction and a bunch of Chicagoans were rooting for the Giants so they could keep it).

These questions are just stupid to me. First and foremost, there’s just no way in hell we’ll ever be able to know the answer. Time travel as cool as it might be (or not) is just not anywhere on the horizon. The 2008 Patriots are never, ever, ever going to play the 1985 Bears. The comparison doesn’t matter. The Bears were the best team in 1984/1985. The Patriots Giants were the best team in 2007/2008. Period.

Second, sports are a head-to-head competition in the here and now. It is entertainment in the here and now. It doesn’t matter how this decade’s team would fare against last decade’s teams. It’s watching the game now that matters. Then again, I don’t get the ESPM Classic station either. Why would anyone want to watch a game that took place 10, 20, or 30 years ago? You know what happened.

Third, equipment and training change. Generally the equipment and training get better. Chi Chi Rodriquez didn’t have a Big Bertha to smack the ball down the fairway. Roger Staubach didn’t have the advanced pads to protect him from hits. Or the 300+ pounders but more on that below. Stan Musial didn’t have the body armor that sluggers use to protect themselves from inside pitches nor as many restrictions on the size bat he could use. Does that make Chi Chi, Roger, and Stan better than today’s players? No (and it doesn’t matter), but it means they played the game differently. Well into the 1980s it was anathema for a baseball player to spend time in the weight room. Flexibility was considered more important. Today’s players are much stronger.

Fourth, the rules change. In basketball, goal tending (defensive and offensive) used to be legal. Zone defenses used to be illegal in the NBA. This year MLB is adding limited instant replay review. Current day athletes play the same sport in name but the games have changed. Today’s athletes and teams are incomparable to those of the past.

This brings me back to the 2008 Patriots, or more importantly, 1972 Dolphins. Last night there was a chance that the 1972 Dolphins would finally have to STFU, but NOOOOOO…. The NY Giants and their overbearing defense had to go and end that dream. So now we are stuck with many more years of hearing these pompous asses tell us how great they were as soon as some team has started the season 6 – 0.