I'll Never Understand Them

So I've known this girl for about two years now. She's a regular at my local watering hole. She's not as frequent a visitor as I am but I see her several times a month. She's pretty. She's got a pretty good sense of humor. She likes the Cardinals. There seems to be some kind of connection there, right?

So off and on I've flirter with her. She would be receptive for a while but then just kind of stop paying attention. She'd start talking to someone else or just let the conversation die. I begin to think of her as just a kind of tease. She liked the attention from guys but not really want to do anything else. Not date, not see you outside the bar. Fine. One of the other regulars describes her as an "attention whore." I take a lot of what he says with a grain of salt but he's a generally good guy, I've seen her do it to other guys, and I had plenty of personal experience to back up his opinion.

So, for quite a while when I'd see her I sort of turned the tables. Sometimes I'd just say hello and then ignore her. Other times I would talk to her for a while but then end the conversation before she was done. I felt it was a tit-for-tat. Now I know that two wrongs don't make a right and all that but that's not how it felt.

Then the Friday before I left for the Canary Islands I run into her at the bar. She was most definitely drunk. She was at a table with two other regulars and a third guy. The third was older and turned out to be the uncle of one of the other guys at the table. One regular leaves (he says he wants away from her) so that leaves me, her, the second regular and his uncle. The uncle was feeling up her leg pretty badly and she was obviously uncomfortable.

Now I may like to tease her but this was unacceptable behavior. There were a couple of spots open at the bar so I offer to buy her a drink. We take the two seats and start talking. Again, remember, she was very drunk. I wasn't 100% sober but I wasn't drunk either. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went but she was in full flirt mode with me. She was discretely touching my arm. She tells me how she's always been attracted to me. On and on. She even kisses me.

This goes on for a while. That's not all we're saying to each other but it was certainly the subtext of our conversation. At one point I was leaning with my back against the bar facing her. Brazenly, she ran her hand up my leg and gets herself a good feel. I sat down and started touching her leg. Multiple times I asked her if she wants me to stop. She always says no. At some point in the night we're practically making out at the bar. As the night draws to an end she won't leave with me. She doesn't want it to be a one night stand. That's cool. That's not what I'm looking for anymore either.

We agree that I'll call her when I get back from vacation. I did. We talked and texted a few times but could never find a time when we were both free. After about two weeks she stopped responding. Back to where we were before that Friday night. Fine, I stop trying to call her and haven't actually seen her since that Friday night.

No need asking, "guess who walked into the bar last night?" I was at a table away from the bar and she walked in with a guy. OK, no problem. The Friday night incident is known to a couple of good friends (and anyone who was even remotely watching us). One of those friends is with me and I point her out. She's been there less than 5 minutes when she sees me at the back of the bar. She jumped up, left the guy she was with, literally runs over and hugs me. Hard. And gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"You look good." she says. "Thanks." I look good? Shit, I'd just finished playing volleyball. I was in running pants and a ratty sweatshirt. I reeked of sweat. We talk a couple and out of the corner of my eye her guy friend is watching with some disgust. She invites me to a baseball game in St. Louis in June. (She provides the tickets, good tickets she promises, and I pay for the hotel. I'm sure she got free tickets.) I say I could probably do that and tell her to call me. She says she needs to go back over but tells me to stop and say goodbye.

We'd already asked for our bill and I leave less than 15 minutes later. I go over to say good bye and the guy she's with gets up and heads to the bathroom before I get there. We talk. I asked about the guy. Of course they aren't dating she tells me. He comes back and looks dejected. She introduces me to him (Neal or Neil). I remember thinking the firmness of his handshake resembled a wet noodle. I say my last good bye to make my exit. She grabs me and gives me another quick kiss catching the corner of my mouth.

The brief recap:
1. She plays hard to get and I get frustrated.
2. I "play" hard to get and she comes on to me and we make out in a bar.
3. We talk maybe 4 times and she stops calling me back.
4. I stop calling and when she sees me she leaves her "date" standing alone and gushes about how I look and wants to see me again.

I'll never understand women.