Facts Get In The Way Of Bigotry

Saturday night I was at a friend's BBQ in Lemont. I was trolling and talking to a bunch of people I hadn't seen since the BBQ last summer. As people started to clear out I wandered out on the deck. My roommate and his new girlfriend was there, a college friend and her boyfriend, a long time family friend, his 15 year old son, and a couple that were my friend's neighbors.

"Blah, blah, blah," the conversation was going. Until someone asked my roommate's girlfriend, Amy, what she did for a living. She's a Spanish teacher. Can you see where this is going? I did. I went to get another beer.

I returned and the "debate" was raging. English should be the official language. All these immigrants are problems. Why should I have to push 1 to get customer service in English? Bill, my roommate, should be able to cut this off and "defend" his new girlfriend. I mumbled something towards my college friend, Bethel. I chugged and went downstairs for another beer.

I came back and it was still going on. Damn! Would they just stop it, I thought. "Why won't they learn Enlish," someone asked, "We did." I assumed he meant his immigrant ancestors. I gulped another mouthful of beer. Fine! I'll get involved.

I leaned into the group (they were sitting at the round table I was standing on the outside). "They do learn English." That brought everyone up short. "They learn English at the same rate as every other immigrant group. Just as fast as the Germans, the Poles, the Russians, the Italian, etc. The first generation, the one that emmigrates, learns just a little bit to get by. The second generation tend to be bilingual. They speak their parents native language and English. The third generation typically has lost all but simple phrases in their grandparents native language."

That had them quiet for a couple moments. Bill, Amy, and Bethel were smiling. (Bethel's boyfriend who may or may not be named Chris who may or may not have vocal chords remained seated silently in the corner.)

The neighbor's wife piped up, "But why should I have to press 1 for English when I call Brookfield Zoo? That's not right!"

"Of course it is. That's capitalism. The zoo has customers that speak both English and Spanish. Why should they turn away paying customers." She wasn't convinced and made some mild protestations still. I told her not to patronize businesses that catered to Spanish speakers. She didn't like that. She "had to" call these businesses. So I paraphrased Drew Carey, "So you don't like customer service phone lines. There's a support group for that. It's called everybody and they meet at the bar."

She and her husband disappered inside for the rest of the night.